All I Want For Christmas Is My Own Wishlist G's

El nino wants a bb gun (beebee? BBee? TOY OF DOOM?) for Christmas and all I can think is YOU'LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT! And also, FRA-GEEEEE-LAY.

Cheeseball wants Barbie So In Style and Style Something Barbie and Style Barbie Style and every other combination of Barbies Whose Hair Is To Be Messed With. Which is cute, but then I find myself hunched over the bathtub trying to wash the OOH SPARKLY GLITTER PINK PASTE OOH out of the woolly matted hair of a giant Moxie Grrrrl head. Which is both uncomfortable AND creepy. And then it's all Cat in the Hat and oh boy! what's this in the tub? It's pink and it sparkles and Mom's gotta scrub!

But, whatever. It's Christmas, right? Stop being such a grinch, MOM. So I dutifully built their Amazon wishlists with them and sent them off to the G's. (Which is The Grandparents, not some generous cabal of gift-giving gangsters although that would certainly be more interesting. And now that I think about it, there really SHOULD be a gang of blinged-out, Santa pants lowriding, hard ass wish granters. Because what would make Christmas even more fun than thugs with hearts of gold?)

Where was I? Right, wishlists. So, two giant Amazon boxes have already shown up. (Thanks, Nana!) After I sent off the wishlists, I got an email from Nana asking why my wishlist always has 50+ items and the kids only have about 10 each. Well, that's because I've been building mine since before they were born and because their interests change and things come off and go on and also because NO ONE EVER BUYS ME ANYTHING OFF MINE because no one lufs me and also thanks for pointing that out. Way to call yourself out, NANA.

Technorati tags: Christmas, wishlist, kids

Bits and pieces and tools and kids.

Little Man has been enrolled in a Spanish Immersion program since kindergarten and he's gotten pretty bueno. Last year, he was still at the point where he would speak Spanish to us and we could figure it out. Now, I find myself telling him "Mommy doesn't understand, dude. Mommy doesn't speak Spanish." What's that? Yes, Mommy is a tool.

So, we went out for Mexican food last night for The Man's birthday. Or, I went out for tequila and they went out for food. El Niño loves it because the people who work there are not tools like Mommy and he can habla the Español with them. They get a real kick out of the tiny little gringo and his perfect pronunciation and he gets a real kick out of their reactions. Unfortunately, they assume Mommy isn't a tool and they start speaking Spanish to me, too. Then we have conversations like this:

Waiter: ¿Es todo bien?

Mommy: Oh me? You're talking to me? Oh, I don't understand. Wait, no...did you ask if I wanted more tequila? Because, yes I do. Thank you. I mean gracias.

El niño: NO, Mom. Duh. He asked if everything was ok. Something in Spanish that Mommy doesn't understand because Mommy is a tool.

Mommy: Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, everything is good. Except with regard to the tequila, which should be más. But, everything else is great. Thank you. I mean, gracias.

El niño: El rollos the eye-o's.

Waiter: I'm just going to talk to the kid next time.

Mommy: You mean when you come back with the tequila?

Cheeseball likes to get into the act because she knows how to count to ten in Spanish and also she knows her colors. In fact, she knows a little song with all the colors that she likes to sing at top volume no matter where we are. Which, normally is fine. I mean whatever, Mommy can walk over here and pretend we're not together. No sweat.

But, she decided one day while at the commissary and while in the cart I was pushing and thus clearly attached to me to launch into the song then get stuck in repeat mode on one line. Over and over. And over. AND OVER. And that line was "black is negro, black is negro". OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Ha ha ha (nervous laughter), GOOD SPANISH, BABY. Good SPANISH. (Sing another line, omg sing another line WHAT ARE YOU DOING?)

Kids. So much fun, you guys! And SO good at helping Mommy look like a tool. Not that Mommy needs much help in that department.

And speaking of tools, we bought some paint for the living room today. We decided we need to paint it all before we put up the Christmas tree and then can't access a corner of the room for the next month. We were all geared up to sand and paint the trim and at least get that knocked out today but then The Man took the coat closet door outside to fire up his power tools and sand it and I started playing with the outside fire pit and an hour later he was covered in sawdust and I reeked of campfire and then we were pretty much done for the day. So I'm blogging instead of painting and that's much better for both of us, isn't it?

Technorati tags: speaking spanish, kids, family

Ready For Their Closeup

We woke up to a beautiful, sunny day this morning after what seemed like decades of rain and clouds.  That might be a slight exaggeration.  It's possible it was only a few years.  I'd really hate to overstate the case.  Exaggeration really isn't my style. Maybe it was eight or ten months. 

In any event, we decided to hold our annual Christmas card photo shoot today.  Handy tip for free: when it's 50 degrees out, sitting on a bench right next to a lake may not be the best idea.  I'm really glad I grabbed the kids' hats and gloves!  I was thinking of them as props, but it turned out they may have saved the kids' lives.  (True story.)

For weeks I've been hunting for cute, plastic Christmas mugs for photo props. (Ha, now you're wondering if that's even true.  It really, truly is.)  When I spotted these little tumblers at Starbucks, I snapped them up with the quickness.  Even though they cost about $68 each.  (Possibly exaggerated.)





ADDED: Ha! I managed to grab the two pictures in which you can't see the cups at all!

She's (not) Crafty.

I love browsing the beautiful creations on Etsy - wishing I could buy most everything and wishing even harder I had half the talent and creativity of the broken hangnail on the pinkies of some of these sellers. Not that I think these ladies have broken hangnails, because that would be a weird thing to say. I'm sure they all have lovely nails on their crafty little hands.

More importantly, I'm going to stop talking and show you some pretty awesome things that are totally inspiring me. (Really it would take something more like a mack truck to inspire anything creative out the tips of my fingers. But, I likes to look.)

From cottonpurr.

Both from FaireHoure.

From pocketcarnival.

Just in time for Christmas, from PaperEclectiques.

iBuyShit

I adore the idea of garage sales and thrift stores. I envision glittery piles of beautiful vintage jewelry and accessories. But, what I usually come across instead is stuff like this. Which, clearly is awesome but I don't want it. Of course, while in the heady throes of the thrift, I forget that I should only buy things I want. Maybe just appreciate but not actually purchase things that are only awesome. Here's a handy diagram illustrating this important point.

I feel like, while I'm out here on the East Coast, I should take advantage of the preponderance of antique stores and the fact that people have lived here for a really fucking long time. But every time I step into a promising new shop, I say wait, this shit is all junk. I already have junk, thankyouverymuch. I'm full up on junk. (Probably because I keep buying shit from the wrong side of the diagram. See above.) The days of my Amazon book selling and eBay store took me to A LOT and I really mean A LOT of garage sales and thrift stores. I'm not sure I'm accurately conveying JUST HOW MANY giant piles of junk-for-sale I've come across. Yet, I found Yard Sale Bloodbath via Bleubird Vintage's blog and suddenly, I'm certain - totally certain - that it's time to hit the circuit again. So, I downloaded the iGarageSale app. It's way cool. It mines Craigslist ads for garage and estate sales and pops them up on a handy little map for you. The husbands gonna be stoked.

A sweet new bento box and a very boring lunch.

This morning was one of those insanely hectic mornings when you have just exactly the same amount of time as any other morning but just. can't. seem. to fit all the same things in. I absolutely had to put my Little Man's new bento box into circulation today, so I threw together a last minute lunch - sloppily cut frog and mushroom shaped sammiches and cut apples soaked in orange juice.

I SO love this box and the kiddo - while noticeably less excited - quite digs it himself.

A Little More, A Little Less

Today's bento: Bulgogi (thin strips of Korean bbq beef), geometric shape onigiri, carrots, blueberries, broccoli and won bok kim chee. I did not pack enough kim chee. The child informed me that in the future he needs "enough kim chee for all the rice". Got it. Also, he'd prefer if I skipped the broccoli, carrots and blueberries. Not gonna happen.

I got my Little Man's awesome new bento box in the mail today! And some super cute cookie sandwich cutters. Someone will be super excited tomorrow morning!

SYTYCD, D, D...

Some thoughts. Cat looked adorable in her wee kidlet nightie last night.

Why does Nigel seem to hate Nathan with fire? I'm not buying the I'm hard on you only because you're so talented line as the sole (or even primary) motivation. I swear he seethes contempt when speaking to the kid.

Nathan and Mmmmooollleeeee, or however the hell she spells it, in the bottom three? I thought they were clad in teenage ZOMGSOCUTE armor.

I ran out of time this morning after the solos and didn't catch the judges comments or decisions. Still called the Kevin/Channing buh-bye. I'll watch the rest later and am dying to see if Nigel goes all RAAAAGE! on the kid again.

Well, we're past the they eliminated who? oh, I forgot they were even there phase. I'm not really bummed to see Kevin go, but at least I knew his name and face.

He's a meat. ball. hero (with stars in his eyes).

This is yesterday's bento. Today, I was lazy and let Little Man buy pizza from the cafeteria. I was apologizing for not getting a lunch together as the child was skipping out the door, whistling and doodling I ♥ pizza on his notebook. Actually, I kid. He's not quite as indifferent to the bento as I make him out to be. It's just that I've got the bento love dialed up to 11 and how's he going to compete with that, really? This is the first time I've ever made meatballs, and holy crap they're tasty. I guess we'll be making meatballs again. There were only a few left after we finished inhaling dinner, so I had to cut one in half to make the sammiches even. Symmetry is important in my world, and also just in reality.

Rock STAR Bento

Today's bento is out of this world. It shoots for the stars. It's heavenly. A ha ha, ok I'm done.

Rocket shaped bologna sandwiches, cheese stars, moon shaped apples, blueberries, a bacon & fennel muffin and fruit snacks.

In other bento-related news, I finally ordered a real deal bento box and I can't waaaaait till it gets here!

Mak-ing Muf-fins. With These Cup-sters.

Having found The Cutest Muffin Cups Ever Anywhere In The World, I had no recourse but to bake some muffins this weekend.

Fresh blueberries.

Bacon and fennel.

Sharp cheddar and cracked pepper.

Let's pretend these sad little bentos aren't the first of the school year.

I have no idea what's up with the bento bug - it bit me then it jumped ship. But I think it's baaa-aaack.

Yesterday: teriyaki burger, grapes, pickles and a tiny little monkey full of mayonnaise. Also, nasty cracking on the cheap azz gladware that is currently mortifying me. I really need to buy the child some actual bento boxes. (When I say buy the child some actual bento boxes, I mean buy me some bento boxes. To make me happy. Because that's how I roll with the bento. It's just good parenting.)

Today: tuna patties, fish shaped onigiri, grapes, broccoli, tiny chocolate action figures (that may well be made of rat poison and brown wax for all I can read the tiny kanji on the tiny packages), soy sauce and puffed rice:

I'm getting excited about it again! Little man: still ambivalent.